Home is Where Your Story Begins

April 20, 2011

Hanging on by a Very Thin Thread

Filed under: Life — my3daughters @ 6:01 pm

I’ve been doing everything in my power to stay in Michigan so that I can be involved in my children’s lives.  I have no job, no vehicle and no home.  Contrary to popular belief, I am not laying around all day playing Facebook and mooching off others.  I have applied for every job opening that I am even remotely qualified for, followed up on every job lead that someone has told me about and gone on every interview I have been asked to participate in.

Until I get a job, I cannot even think about trying to find a place to live. Unemployment doesn’t pay me enough even before they take half of it to give my 6 figure a year ex-husband his court ordered child support.  And before you ask, not that it’s any of your business, but I have to pay him child support because, although we have joint custody, his residence is listed as the primary one.  And no, I cannot ask for a reduction in child support because I’m on unemployment.  Michigan Friend of the Court will not even consider changing a court ordered amount while I am on unemployment.

“Surely there must be some sort of help,” you say.  “Have you gone to the Department of Human Services?  Have you applied for Section 8 Housing?”  Again, not that it’s any of your business, but yes I have.

I have commitments here in Michigan until May 22.  I had set this as my “deadline.”  The plan was that if I hadn’t found a job by then, I was going to have to leave my children and move back to Pennsylvania.  First off, I am not one of those people who had children just to say I did so.  I had children because I wanted them, because I wanted to be involved in their lives.  So moving 300+ miles away is not my idea of a good time.  Secondly, note that I did not say I was moving back to Fayette City.  Apparently, moving back home is not an option.  I can’t say for certain because I haven’t been able to get a response to my calls, emails or text messages.   I’m just assuming I’m not welcome.  Fortunately, I do have friends willing to welcome me into their home.

I honestly don’t know if I can make it another day in Michigan, much less another month.  Continuing to pick myself up, dust myself off and continue the fight is getting too difficult.  And it doesn’t help that there are so many people who seem to delight in kicking me when I’m down.  For those who look down on me because I “spend too much time on Facebook” let me say this—“Be glad that I do spend so much time on Facebook.  I have friends on there who support me and encourage me.  If it wasn’t for my constant contact with them, you would be walking around with the guilt of knowing that you were part of the reason I blew my brains out.”  Of course, you are so self-centered that you would never dream that it was your fault.  Plus you would probably agree with the family member who told me that I deserve all the misery I get, that I asked for it and that if my friends knew the true me that they wouldn’t support me (this family member has spent about 2 days with me in the past 20 years so I’m not sure how they think they know the real me).

To each and every one of my friends who has helped me keep going by encouraging me, thank you from the bottom of my heart.  If you have someone in your life who blesses you even a tiny bit as much as you have blessed me, you will be blessed indeed.

To each and every one of you who have looked down your nose at me, kicked me when I was down and basically helped to make my life even more of a living hell than it already is, thank you from the bottom of my heart.  While the right thing for me to do would be to never wish this or any misery on you, what I really wish is that you will eventually get as good as you gave.

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3 Comments »

  1. I am sorry that all of this is happening to you. I wish I had a place for you to stay or more to offer you. I love you though. I know you are strong, and I know you know you are strong. You will get through this. One day you will realize that these terrible months and months made a better, stronger person. You are an amazing person, and although I will be sad if you have to leave I know I am blessed to have you as a friend even if you’re more than a couple miles away.

    Comment by Kathryn — April 20, 2011 @ 6:13 pm | Reply

  2. http://www.michiganlegalaid.org/

    perhaps they can offer some help with the child support issue?

    Comment by Bonnie — April 20, 2011 @ 6:45 pm | Reply

    • Actually, I’ve talked with them. They are very nice. Unfortunately they can’t help with the child support. It’s FOC policy not to make changes based on unemployment. It makes no sense but there you have Michigan in a nutshell. Nothing, from the weather to the legal system, makes sense. Thanks for the suggestion, though. They did help me out when my lawyer seized my van to cover my unpaid balance. It wasn’t enough to get the van back but they did their best. You can only do so much when your lawyer and the judge are golfing buddies.

      Comment by my3daughters — April 20, 2011 @ 10:54 pm | Reply


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